The Power of Disagreement

Last Tuesday, I had the opportunity to attend an event where Governor Charlie Baker was speaking. It was a fantastic event, and it is always such a pleasure to hear the Governor speak about the state of the Commonwealth and our society. During the discussion, I could not help but be encouraged by a story he shared from his childhood that has shaped his view on debate, disagreement, and decision-making.

Governor Baker shared that his mother was a registered Democrat, and his father was a registered Republican. In his house, while growing up, his parents often engaged in conversations and disagreements on a number of issues. As he reflected on growing up in a household that embraced debate, I want to share two important ideas that resonated with me and are relevant for our students.

First, Governor Baker talked about the idea of surrounding oneself with the best minds regardless of their party affiliation and encouraging debate. He empathized the difference between intellectual disagreement and malicious disagreement. It was a critical distinction. The purpose of debate is not to tear another person down, but to deepen one’s own understanding, as well as the other person’s.

The point he shared was about how his parents and family friends were able to enter into strong arguments over politics, but it never impacted their relationships. By not entering a discussion with malicious intent, they knew that the arguments was about ideas.

Governor Baker’s words ring true if we are to live up to our mission of “develop[ing] life long learners who are informed, engaged, and ethical citizens and leaders in our diverse world.” We must continue our work with students so that they can engage in authentic discussions about what they are learning, the issues in our own community, and current events.

In recent conversations with ninth grade students, it was clear that they want to be a part of intellectual debate. They want to engage in conversations about our world and to dive deeper into the issues. They also shared that they believed the Brimmer community was one that was welcoming of all diversity–race, ethnicity, religious, identity, and intellectual.

We need to continue to teach students to engage in these discussions in order to learn and not to create conflict. In this way, like Governor Baker’s parents and family friends, respectful debate can lead to stronger personal relationships and deeper understanding, instead of creating wedges between people.

First Day of School

The first day of school always brings a lot of excitement and nerves. First days bring with them hope and possibility and opportunity to start anew. Whether it is the first day of Kindergarten, Middle School, or your senior year, you are faced with new experiences and opportunities to grow. Of course all that change and unknown also can bring about feelings of anxiousness.

During our Faculty Opening Meetings we had the opportunity to learn from Lynn Lyons,fullsizerender LICSW, an expert in Anxiety and Worry. During her presentation she spoke about how we often feed “worry” instead of acknowledging “worry” for what it is- a state of mind. She spoke in depth on how to avoid the worry trap by focusing on the process instead of feeding the worry with content. Lyons said “Don’t ask the person afraid to ride a bike, ‘what’s the worst thing that will happen.’ Instead, normalize the experience and move into action. Use phrases such as:

  • I don’t like it, but I can handle it
  • This is what I’m experiencing
  • I’m willing to feel uncomfortable

Every person has nerves about the start of a new school year in different ways. It may be the anxiousness of starting a new school or having moved to a new town, the desire to get a lead role in the school play, or the pressures of what comes after high school. However, if we frame these nerves as opportunities, we can enjoy the excitement of a new year.